I swore violently while on the phone with my dad the other night. Why is this?
Well, I was chatting with him while I was on the way home. Traffic was its usual level of heinous, of course, so it was stop and go and I was trying to remotely figure out what the hell is wrong with the little button thingies I have for my door locks (as in, they don't work at all, and my alarm goes off every time I unlock the doors with my key). So why did I swear? Not at my dad, of course (though THAT has happened before).
Not one, not two, but THREE people passed me. I was in the far right lane. Meaning that they passed me by driving down the shoulder.
Now, I realize that they were clearly in a hurry to get on the B/W Parkway. That's cool. But we weren't anywhere near the exit and it's not like you can drive that fast down the B/W in rush hour, anyway.
So what the fuck? You're more uncouth than Texans.
My dad laughed at me.
Also, what is up with the people on the metro? Monday I watched as young women who did not look to have any kind of physical disability made a woman who was clearly very pregnant (and I don't mean she could have just been fat and carrying her weight funny, but was otherwise a slim woman with a large, protruding parasite attached to her front) stand for about 5 stops. And then she had to pretty much YELL at a dude so that she could get to the empty seat I was beating the vultures away from.
Rude motherfuckers. I also watched a blind man stand for 10 stops yesterday. Seriously, kids?
I hate the metro, and I hate the people on it. Especially the dillholes who stand in the middle of the aisle then act like you're inconveniencing them when you need to get past to get off the train.
You're a dickweed, sir.
Wednesday only some of the doors on my train car opened. And the lights would only be on periodically. It was ... interesting.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
SDCHC COOKS! Err... sort of.
Some time last week, L and I decided that we would start making food that we could freeze, take out of the freezer at will, and take to work. After a couple of days of waffling and not going to the grocery store, we finally went.
Now, neither of us are really cooks. L has the family lasagna recipe, I bummed the recipe for chimichanga beef off my dad a few weeks ago. So it's been kind of a struggle for us not to live off microwave dinners.
So last night, we finally started cooking. Or rather, L fired up the crock pot, threw some chicken breasts in, and made this recipe.
This morning I took it out, packaged it up, and brought some to work with me. And sweet, sweet lord, this chicken melted in my mouth like BUTTER. It is INCREDIBLE.
Try it sometime. Extra Worchestershire sauce, if you please.
Now, neither of us are really cooks. L has the family lasagna recipe, I bummed the recipe for chimichanga beef off my dad a few weeks ago. So it's been kind of a struggle for us not to live off microwave dinners.
So last night, we finally started cooking. Or rather, L fired up the crock pot, threw some chicken breasts in, and made this recipe.
This morning I took it out, packaged it up, and brought some to work with me. And sweet, sweet lord, this chicken melted in my mouth like BUTTER. It is INCREDIBLE.
Try it sometime. Extra Worchestershire sauce, if you please.
Monday, July 13, 2009
you suck your headphones suck your taste in music sucks.
Recall, if you will, my post about the woman with the extra loud headphones. One would think that, in an area as densely populated as DC is, it would be highly unlikely that you'd see the same people over and over.
I, however, know that this is not true. When I used to ride the train from Greenbelt, I saw the same woman putting on her makeup, every single day. I would see the same NFL-employed man. As it is, riding from New Carrollton, I see the same vehicles and tend to end up in the elevators with the same people at least a couple days a week.
LoudHeadphoneGirl was on my train again this morning. I in a sideways seat, she in the second row of forward facing seats. Her music, just as loud and clear as if it were coming from my very own iPod.
Only, not from my very own iPod, because I wouldn't be caught dead listening to generically bad r&b. (Generically bad pop-punk, yes, but r&b? I don't even enjoy the good stuff that much, I'm really not going to listen to the garbage!)
And yes, a woman managed to get her to turn it down with a mere look.
I, however, know that this is not true. When I used to ride the train from Greenbelt, I saw the same woman putting on her makeup, every single day. I would see the same NFL-employed man. As it is, riding from New Carrollton, I see the same vehicles and tend to end up in the elevators with the same people at least a couple days a week.
LoudHeadphoneGirl was on my train again this morning. I in a sideways seat, she in the second row of forward facing seats. Her music, just as loud and clear as if it were coming from my very own iPod.
Only, not from my very own iPod, because I wouldn't be caught dead listening to generically bad r&b. (Generically bad pop-punk, yes, but r&b? I don't even enjoy the good stuff that much, I'm really not going to listen to the garbage!)
And yes, a woman managed to get her to turn it down with a mere look.
Friday, July 10, 2009
WMATA & riders FAIL AT LIFE.
Ahhh, WMATA. I have so much hate for your metro system. But this is totally not entirely your fault, I promise.
I see this every day. I ride the orange line from New Carrollton station into DC five days a week. And when I am leaving the parking structure, there are three lanes in which you can pay. Two that you must pay with your SmarTrip card, and one that you can pay with a credit card.
There is always some dipshit having to back out of one of the SmarTrip lanes, or having to get out of his/her vehicle to walk over to the other lane to pay. Or to find out what to do.
Now, this is the Metro-dedicated parking structure. What I don't get is that it says THESE LANES SMARTRIP ONLY. NO CASH, NO CREDIT. And yet...
Is it because you don't know how much money you have on your card? You do know that every time you scan it at the gate to pay your fare, it shows you how much is on the card, right? And assuming you take the same commute every day, wouldn't you know when you need to recharge it? I mean, I've got the second-worst memory known to man (my roommate's is the only one worse!) and I've never had to back out of that lane. Why are you an idiot?
This morning on the train, a woman a seat in front of me and across the aisle had her headphones up so loud the man sitting next to her was plugging his ear. It was so loud that I could hear every single word sung loud and clear, across the crowded train. The woman next to me was rolling her eyes. The woman sitting in front of this woman actually turned around and went "it's a little loud, don't you think?"
I don't understand this. I mean, I like my music loud but honestly? I know better than to inflict what I'm listening to on the people around me. (Unless I've had a really bad day, then I don't care, but I don't think I could ever listen to my headphones quite that loudly.)
Strangely enough, it's always rap/shitty r&b/Beyonce.
I feel like that's probably telling.
The worse the taste in music, the louder it has to be?
I see this every day. I ride the orange line from New Carrollton station into DC five days a week. And when I am leaving the parking structure, there are three lanes in which you can pay. Two that you must pay with your SmarTrip card, and one that you can pay with a credit card.
There is always some dipshit having to back out of one of the SmarTrip lanes, or having to get out of his/her vehicle to walk over to the other lane to pay. Or to find out what to do.
Now, this is the Metro-dedicated parking structure. What I don't get is that it says THESE LANES SMARTRIP ONLY. NO CASH, NO CREDIT. And yet...
Is it because you don't know how much money you have on your card? You do know that every time you scan it at the gate to pay your fare, it shows you how much is on the card, right? And assuming you take the same commute every day, wouldn't you know when you need to recharge it? I mean, I've got the second-worst memory known to man (my roommate's is the only one worse!) and I've never had to back out of that lane. Why are you an idiot?
This morning on the train, a woman a seat in front of me and across the aisle had her headphones up so loud the man sitting next to her was plugging his ear. It was so loud that I could hear every single word sung loud and clear, across the crowded train. The woman next to me was rolling her eyes. The woman sitting in front of this woman actually turned around and went "it's a little loud, don't you think?"
I don't understand this. I mean, I like my music loud but honestly? I know better than to inflict what I'm listening to on the people around me. (Unless I've had a really bad day, then I don't care, but I don't think I could ever listen to my headphones quite that loudly.)
Strangely enough, it's always rap/shitty r&b/Beyonce.
I feel like that's probably telling.
The worse the taste in music, the louder it has to be?
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
lawyers suing dead metro train operator? gtfo of here.
In response to this article on DCist:
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? How are they seriously going to sue poor, dead Jeanice McMillan for their hurt backs when the woman a) tried to push the emergency stop button and b) SHE DIED?
They should be grateful that they have their lives when this poor woman lost hers -- trying to save them, and the EIGHT OTHER PEOPLE THAT DIED, no less.
Suing WMATA is another story, however. What was the "situation" at Eastern Market yesterday, anyway? Another death? Suicide jumper? That's what it was last Monday. That'd make it three Mondays in a row, WMATA, and I am not surprised in the least.
Also, you know you're in a pretty icky situation when you step off the train and the platform is about 20 degrees cooler than the train ever thought about being. Mmm, 1000-series cars with non-working air-conditioning. I was gross before I ever got to work.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? How are they seriously going to sue poor, dead Jeanice McMillan for their hurt backs when the woman a) tried to push the emergency stop button and b) SHE DIED?
They should be grateful that they have their lives when this poor woman lost hers -- trying to save them, and the EIGHT OTHER PEOPLE THAT DIED, no less.
Suing WMATA is another story, however. What was the "situation" at Eastern Market yesterday, anyway? Another death? Suicide jumper? That's what it was last Monday. That'd make it three Mondays in a row, WMATA, and I am not surprised in the least.
Also, you know you're in a pretty icky situation when you step off the train and the platform is about 20 degrees cooler than the train ever thought about being. Mmm, 1000-series cars with non-working air-conditioning. I was gross before I ever got to work.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
maryland is clearly retarded.
Yesterday evening, I was driving home along the beltway. The time is approximately 6:30PM. Traffic, West-bound on the Beltway is usually not all that bad on Tuesday evenings (compared to, say, a Friday evening). We drove along swimmingly.
Suddenly, traffic slows to almost a stop. And I am like, "what the fuck is the problem here, we were moving fine!"
Then a raindrop hits my windshield, and the planets align and I understand the truth of the matter:
Maryland drivers are idiots.
EDIT:
Further members of the SDCHC would like to clarify:
L: NOT ALL MARYLAND DRIVERS!
L: I LOOOOOOOONG TO DRIVE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON IN THE RAIN
L: IT'S ALL THE OTHER ASSHOLES WHO WON'T LET ME
Consider me chastised.
Suddenly, traffic slows to almost a stop. And I am like, "what the fuck is the problem here, we were moving fine!"
Then a raindrop hits my windshield, and the planets align and I understand the truth of the matter:
Maryland drivers are idiots.
EDIT:
Further members of the SDCHC would like to clarify:
L: NOT ALL MARYLAND DRIVERS!
L: I LOOOOOOOONG TO DRIVE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON IN THE RAIN
L: IT'S ALL THE OTHER ASSHOLES WHO WON'T LET ME
Consider me chastised.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
five awesome things about the washington metro area
one: weather
Okay, it's humid as balls. But at least you're not likely to get 80 degree weather in December. Of course, the DC area's idea of "sweltering" is about 20 degrees cooler than Oklahoma's, anyway. Marylanders/DCers are weenies. Yeah, I said it. Check back in when it's 110 degrees with 100% humidity, kids. Then we'll talk about me rescinding you being wieners.
two: ikea
Fuck yeah, there's an Ikea 15 minutes from my apartment. And you know what's great about Ikea? Not only does it have cheap furniture, but they also have Swedish meatballs. And Lingonberry juice! That's what's great about Ikea. Oh, and their shopping carts have wheels that move in every direction, all independent of each other. And that, my friends, is awesome.
three: music access
When I lived in Oklahoma, the closest venue I could go to to see bands that I enjoy was about an hour and a half away. It wasn't uncommon to go right out of state to Dallas or Kansas City for the good stuff. Here, I live, like, 20 minutes from Merriweather Post Pavillion (which sucks, but eh). I've been to four concerts within thirty minutes of my apartment since moving here. That is the shit, my friends. Also? Jersey? New York? Are less time driving than some of the places I went from Oklahoma. Like, you know, Kansas City. A+
four: shopping
Look, I used to have to drive an hour to go to a Target or a Kohl's or a mall that had a Sephora. Going to Hot Topic to frolick and mock on a whim was simply out of the question. They don't even have a Torrid store in Oklahoma. No, ANYWHERE, you guys. Here, nearly every mall has a Hot Topic AND a Sephora. And man, I love me some Sephora. (Also, somewhere out in Rockville is the biggest Barnes & Noble I've ever been in. At least until I go to the hugenormous one in B-more.)
five: the terps
My college's mascot was the Riverhawks. Now, that sounds stupid. Until you realize that the University of Maryland's mascot is the "terps". Now, this is not just a turtle, but a TERRAPIN. And that they say "fear the turtle." Now, IDK if you've ever met a terrapin before, but they are not particularly fearsome creatures. I mean, the worst thing they can do to you is pee on you. Now that's intimidation! They should've sprung for at least snapping turtles, because at least those things are scary and can hurt you. Terrapins, not so much. Never fails to give me a laugh when I see a decal on someone's car.
Okay, it's humid as balls. But at least you're not likely to get 80 degree weather in December. Of course, the DC area's idea of "sweltering" is about 20 degrees cooler than Oklahoma's, anyway. Marylanders/DCers are weenies. Yeah, I said it. Check back in when it's 110 degrees with 100% humidity, kids. Then we'll talk about me rescinding you being wieners.
two: ikea
Fuck yeah, there's an Ikea 15 minutes from my apartment. And you know what's great about Ikea? Not only does it have cheap furniture, but they also have Swedish meatballs. And Lingonberry juice! That's what's great about Ikea. Oh, and their shopping carts have wheels that move in every direction, all independent of each other. And that, my friends, is awesome.
three: music access
When I lived in Oklahoma, the closest venue I could go to to see bands that I enjoy was about an hour and a half away. It wasn't uncommon to go right out of state to Dallas or Kansas City for the good stuff. Here, I live, like, 20 minutes from Merriweather Post Pavillion (which sucks, but eh). I've been to four concerts within thirty minutes of my apartment since moving here. That is the shit, my friends. Also? Jersey? New York? Are less time driving than some of the places I went from Oklahoma. Like, you know, Kansas City. A+
four: shopping
Look, I used to have to drive an hour to go to a Target or a Kohl's or a mall that had a Sephora. Going to Hot Topic to frolick and mock on a whim was simply out of the question. They don't even have a Torrid store in Oklahoma. No, ANYWHERE, you guys. Here, nearly every mall has a Hot Topic AND a Sephora. And man, I love me some Sephora. (Also, somewhere out in Rockville is the biggest Barnes & Noble I've ever been in. At least until I go to the hugenormous one in B-more.)
five: the terps
My college's mascot was the Riverhawks. Now, that sounds stupid. Until you realize that the University of Maryland's mascot is the "terps". Now, this is not just a turtle, but a TERRAPIN. And that they say "fear the turtle." Now, IDK if you've ever met a terrapin before, but they are not particularly fearsome creatures. I mean, the worst thing they can do to you is pee on you. Now that's intimidation! They should've sprung for at least snapping turtles, because at least those things are scary and can hurt you. Terrapins, not so much. Never fails to give me a laugh when I see a decal on someone's car.
five things that blow about the washington metro area:
one: WMATA
I don't take the bus. I don't plan on ever taking the bus if I can help it. But I do take the train. The metro. The "subway." Fuck that noise. At time of writing this, I was late to work today. Why? Well, because the train I was on this morning averaged a total of three stops per station it was actually supposed to stop in. Not to mention it's hot, crowded, and generally pretty gross. Yeah, I know it's supposed to be cleaner than most places. The people that say it's clean have clearly never seen the water cascading down the walls of Farragut North station or smelled the wonderful soured-milk scent of Fort Totten station. So fuck you, DC Metro.
two: maryland drivers
I used to think Texan drivers were the worst drivers. Of course, I grew up in Oklahoma, and my first instinct was to yell at them to get off the roads when they passed me and cut me off. I severely underestimated the level of crappiness driving could reach. They speed. They speed a LOT. They honk nearly as much as Los Angeles drivers. And just when you think it can't get worse, it starts raining. The driving speed drops abruptly from 15mph over to 15mph under. Wipers come on full blast, even in drizzle. I decide to drive like a Texan. Fuck you, you pussies, try driving in tornadic weather sometime. (I hear it's worse when it snows, but since I was unemployed the last snow, I stayed happily in my apartment. I don't drive in the snow either. I don't know nothin' 'bout no snow. We don't get snow in Oklahoma. but when we do... everyone gets batshit. I imagine it's similar.) You know what's worse than Maryland drivers? Virginians. That's what.
three: bums
I don't carry cash. Even if I, for some reason, have cash or change or whatever on me, I'm going to tell you that I don't. Why? Because I'm a bitch like that. I'm not particularly used to bums. Oh, I've met my fair share, having toured LA, Chicago, Dallas, and the downtown area of Tulsa, OK fairly near the Salvation Army shelter. (The lady bums in Dallas are the worst. They'll cry. Watch out for that shit.) Where I'm from, we had a town bum (Johnny Bo!). He never asked for anything more than a cigarette or two (which my mother has always been happy to give, despite being a raging bitch without them), and someone to talk to. I don't like these insistent, smelly dudes who are sitting on corners with their signs. It offends my Southern sense of wanting to help people when I am determined not to dole out my change. They make me feel Catholic.
four: traffic
The worst traffic I ever experienced back home was trying to get off the highway and onto one of the busiest streets in Tulsa the weekend before Christmas. Well, except for that one time we were randomly in traffic in the middle of nowhere because of a combination of snow + drivers + bridge (yeah, it was bad) or trying to back out of a parking space at 3:30 in the middle of my pathetic little town. Now I make whimpery noises when I cross the bridge to get onto 1-95 to go to the beltway. I don't even want to discuss the beltway. We don't talk about the beltway, ugh.
five: mexican food
I don't know who you bitches think you are, but whatever you're serving is not Mexican food. What does a girl have to do to get some decent Mexican around here? I just want to find the place where they don't speak much English besides what they need to communicate orders with the gringos and they use the right kind of cheese. I feel like this is impossible, considering every time I mention Mexican food my roommate mentions Taco Bell. I AM DOOMED. (Note: Salvadorian/Spanish/Puerto Rican ≠ Mexican. At all. Ever.)
I don't take the bus. I don't plan on ever taking the bus if I can help it. But I do take the train. The metro. The "subway." Fuck that noise. At time of writing this, I was late to work today. Why? Well, because the train I was on this morning averaged a total of three stops per station it was actually supposed to stop in. Not to mention it's hot, crowded, and generally pretty gross. Yeah, I know it's supposed to be cleaner than most places. The people that say it's clean have clearly never seen the water cascading down the walls of Farragut North station or smelled the wonderful soured-milk scent of Fort Totten station. So fuck you, DC Metro.
two: maryland drivers
I used to think Texan drivers were the worst drivers. Of course, I grew up in Oklahoma, and my first instinct was to yell at them to get off the roads when they passed me and cut me off. I severely underestimated the level of crappiness driving could reach. They speed. They speed a LOT. They honk nearly as much as Los Angeles drivers. And just when you think it can't get worse, it starts raining. The driving speed drops abruptly from 15mph over to 15mph under. Wipers come on full blast, even in drizzle. I decide to drive like a Texan. Fuck you, you pussies, try driving in tornadic weather sometime. (I hear it's worse when it snows, but since I was unemployed the last snow, I stayed happily in my apartment. I don't drive in the snow either. I don't know nothin' 'bout no snow. We don't get snow in Oklahoma. but when we do... everyone gets batshit. I imagine it's similar.) You know what's worse than Maryland drivers? Virginians. That's what.
three: bums
I don't carry cash. Even if I, for some reason, have cash or change or whatever on me, I'm going to tell you that I don't. Why? Because I'm a bitch like that. I'm not particularly used to bums. Oh, I've met my fair share, having toured LA, Chicago, Dallas, and the downtown area of Tulsa, OK fairly near the Salvation Army shelter. (The lady bums in Dallas are the worst. They'll cry. Watch out for that shit.) Where I'm from, we had a town bum (Johnny Bo!). He never asked for anything more than a cigarette or two (which my mother has always been happy to give, despite being a raging bitch without them), and someone to talk to. I don't like these insistent, smelly dudes who are sitting on corners with their signs. It offends my Southern sense of wanting to help people when I am determined not to dole out my change. They make me feel Catholic.
four: traffic
The worst traffic I ever experienced back home was trying to get off the highway and onto one of the busiest streets in Tulsa the weekend before Christmas. Well, except for that one time we were randomly in traffic in the middle of nowhere because of a combination of snow + drivers + bridge (yeah, it was bad) or trying to back out of a parking space at 3:30 in the middle of my pathetic little town. Now I make whimpery noises when I cross the bridge to get onto 1-95 to go to the beltway. I don't even want to discuss the beltway. We don't talk about the beltway, ugh.
five: mexican food
I don't know who you bitches think you are, but whatever you're serving is not Mexican food. What does a girl have to do to get some decent Mexican around here? I just want to find the place where they don't speak much English besides what they need to communicate orders with the gringos and they use the right kind of cheese. I feel like this is impossible, considering every time I mention Mexican food my roommate mentions Taco Bell. I AM DOOMED. (Note: Salvadorian/Spanish/Puerto Rican ≠ Mexican. At all. Ever.)
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